‘Dance Flick’ Fulfills Expectations…Too Bad Everyone Expected it to Suck
-----As I mentioned in my ‘Upcoming Potential’ section, I am now working at a theater, and can now see movies for free. And like many logical movie-goers, after such spoofs like ‘Scary Movie 4,’ ‘Date Movie,’ and many more on a long list of horrible films, I would not pay to see ‘Dance Flick.’ However, as a service to you, I have seen and reviewed, ‘Dance Flick.’
-----I recall walking into the theater to see this movie. After making my actions clear, I was promptly asked by my boss, “Why?” Indeed, no one seemed to be giving this movie a chance. After reading some lukewarm critical reviews (success for a spoof like this) however, I was ready to keep an open mind, and tried to avoid judging a book by its cover. Then I walked into the completely empty theater, and knew it would be a long 83 minutes.
-----‘Dance Flick’ is your run of the mill gross-out-gag spoof. Trying to leave their mark on the surge of recent movies about dancing, the Wayans Brothers have made the typical spoof garbage we’ve become accustomed to in the last decade. However, while the modern dance movie is worthy of a few blows due mainly to the melodrama seen in them, at least there’s some good dance choreography. ‘Dance Flick’ the spoof, on the other hand, has no great dancing, isn’t funny, and proves just how predictable and lame spoofs have become. I’m still waiting for the next entry into the spoof genre, ‘Spoof Movie,’ a spoof on spoofs. It’d probably be better than this.
-----Shoshana Bush plays the spoof on cliché female dance movie leads, Megan. She’s not funny, and neither are her lines. Damon Wayans Jr. plays the spoof on cliché male dance movie leads, Thomas. He at least occasionally acts like he’s in a comedy instead of a dime-a-dozen spoof. However, he too, isn’t very funny, and his lines are just as predictable as the next spoof character. I could tell you about how predictable, dumb, and unfunny the rest of the cast is, but instead I’ll just say they were all just as boring as, and occasionally even worsethan the leads. I’ve decided there’s no reason to waste your time calling each individual out.
-----The problem with ‘Dance Flick’ is that it isn’t funny. I’m not completely against the genre either. I enjoyed the first and third ‘Scary Movie’s but after the next twelve spoofs came out using the same gags and being very, very boring, I have more-or-less given up on them. What makes a classic spoof is a movie where you care about the characters and the story, and it’s a spoof simply due to its insightful take on cliché elements in its respective genre. Take ‘Galaxy Quest’ for instance. It is a timeless laugh at the ‘Star Trek’ mythos and other space fantasies, but it has a heart, and a story that draws the audience in as much as the genre it pokes fun at. ‘Dance Flick,’ while occasionally surprising, is primarily just weak lines executed in a quick fashion so as to usher on the next would-be joke. I found myself calling the punch-lines a number of times, and even when I didn’t, they weren’t at all funny.
-----The music that’s supposed to spoof clichés has become a cliché in itself. Over the top and stupid, poorly executed effects work only adds to the list of faults. Nothing much in this film is funny, or even very interesting. In fact, just about everything is bad here. I considered leaving but thought for the integrity of my review, I had better wait it out. It’s a good thing too, because the last scene spoofed the already laughable ‘Twilight’ movie. That was kind of funny, and actually the best part of the movie. However, I’m still in awe of anyone who wholeheartedly enjoys ‘Dance Flick.’ I guess there has to be someone out there who likes it; the Wayans brothers can’t be the only ones, can they? I mean the film has rung up over ten million dollars….
-----Ultimately, I don’t think anyone needed this review anymore than anyone needed this movie. I have simply confirmed what many took for granted, that it would be a stupid, IQ-lowering film. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t offended, for I expected such humor and certainly wasn’t surprised when the Wayans Brothers confirmed that over-the-top doesn’t automatically make it funny. So overall, I was kind of bored, but one of the best parts of the film was its runtime of only 83 minutes. And while I usually don’t condemn a film that knows what it is and shamelessly goes for it, it’s evident that not much thought or effort goes into these films, and I definitely condemn that. The film avoids being my first zero-star rating so far simply because it did not anger me with its stupidity, which is mainly because I expected it, and didn’t have to pay $8.50 for it. Also, it avoids being unnecessarily mean-spirited, which would have made it malevolent and stupid. Oh, and I almost forgot; I chuckled twice, which was an unexpected bonus.
-----In conclusion, there is something to be said about someone who pays to see a movie like ‘Dance Flick,’ which only reflects its brainless trailer. I recall cleaning a theater after a showing of it, a showing with only five people present. It would appear they had a massive popcorn fight. Maybe that’s the type of person it takes to pay to see such a movie. Oh well, you get the point; stay away from this movie, and you can pat yourself on the back, you’ll have salvaged 83 precious minutes of your life.
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