‘Legion’ is Often Hilarious; Not a Good Sign for a Horror-Action-Drama
-----This is the premise of ‘Legion’; when man becomes too evil God decides to destroy him, but instead of floods he sends angels. Thankfully for humanity’s last hope (a small band of surviving humans in an isolated diner in Podunk U.S.A.), they have the Angel Michael on their side. Let’s stop right there: if God wanted to destroy humans, there wouldn’t be a battle, He could just do it. So you say Ok, this film isn’t going to have a great plot, that’s a given from the get-go, but at least it should have some awesome horror-action, right? Nope.
-----For whatever reason, screenwriters Peter Schink and Scott Stewart (the latter also directed) have chosen to make a born-and-bred redneck the last hope for humanity, a fact poorly justified in a conversation with the Angel Michael about midway through the film. Playing this savior of sorts is Lucas Black, in a ridiculous performance. As if his monotone and unparalleled blank stare throughout the entire film weren’t enough, Black’s character is named, “Jeep.” This isn’t a joke; his line delivery is like that of stoner trying to concentrate halfway though a hit. Playing his “Pa” is Dennis Quaid. Now, I like Quaid in the right role, but his embittered hick persona is just another thing to laugh about in ‘Legion.’ Playing Jeep’s reluctant love interest is Adrianne Palicki, as an obnoxious chain-smoker who carries the savior of society in her belly. Why is she of all people carrying mankind’s apparent savior? Ask the screenwriters; though I doubt even they know. In the film’s single strong performance, and likewise playing the only cool character in the whole affair, is Paul Bettany. I’d love to see Bettany do more work, but his participation in this mess is wholly bizarre. And while his sincere and always convincing voice prove to be a diamond in the rough, it’s hardly enough to even make a valid argument for seeing this film. Rounding out the cast are decent supporting roles from Tyrese Gibson (‘Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen’) and Charles S. Dutton, but this is the sort of film where their shared ethnicity is a sign that they’re likely the first to go.
-----The musical score has its moments, and combined with Bettany’s alluring charisma it makes for a very rare scene with some halfway merit. But really, at this point, it’s a lost cause. Combine a terrible screenplay with laugh-inducing performances from two of the primary leads, and even great action sequences wouldn’t have saved this one. But fear not, no great action sequences were wasted on this film; they’re mostly generic and boring shots of people shooting into the dark or getting killed in an uninspired gore-fest, usually including flies. There’s a scene that takes place in Heaven, but rather than doing anything visually appealing, original, or even ambitious at all, the only cue of the setting is a golden background beaming over the two angels having their conversation. Funnier still are random spots where a big deal is made about an attacking plague or angel, only for the supposed threat to be easily taken care of by a bullet or two. I guess the enemy should have gone with a shield instead of stretchy limbs (see trailer for reference).
-----Many of the scenes, as I’ve mentioned, are hilarious for all the wrong reasons, but worse still when it gets a bit boring. The Messiah-themed story is a joke for a number of reasons, namely the setting, characters involved, and worthless execution by those involved with the making of this film. Granted, it’s a fun film to laugh about afterwards once the damage is already done, but I think we’d all rather have those two hours back. Bettany fans will find only frustration as a skilled actor’s talents go to waste on this horrendous production. One thing for sure, all those who see it will be left to ponder just how anyone got paid to write this script; not to mention the question of how long actor Lucas Black and Director Scott Stewart will be employed if they continue to put out this kind of work.
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